This Year's Love
by Jahammer33
Summary: A second kiss led Hamilton to consider his burning feelings for Jake.
1. Default Chapter

Title**_This year's love_**

Author: _Chacha_

E-mail: PG-13

Category: _Jake & Hamilton_

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters...

Summary: It's about J/H go find out!

Feedback: Greatly appreciated

Author's Note: Thanks for all the readers out there, hope you enjoy. This one is for you Susana and Shabana. Let's just keep _Jake & Hamilton_'s endless love!

* * *

_Am I dreamin' or stupid?  
I think I've been hit by Cupid  
But no one needs to know right now_

Hamilton dragged Jake to her room; he had to half-carry her since she was not able to walk steadily. She had drunk too much that night at the party that Bella invited them to. He had asked her to go with him since both of them were going solo. They went together but he ended up worrying about her. She was a little bit out of it, when she started to blurt out some things like "Hey, HAMilton, you wanna dance...how sweet of you to have invited me tonight…" He just grabbed her by her arm and took her to her room.

He felt a little guilty for having let her drink that much. He was also afraid of going with Jake to her room, the idea of the two of them being together alone in the middle of a night scared him shitless. Spending time with Jake was nice. However, he could not get that damned kiss out of his mind and he wanted to do it again, to see if it felt the same way.

"Come on Jake, help me here," He told Jake "We're finally in your room," He said putting her gently on her bed.

She rolled over and thrashed about in her bed, slurring, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry Hamilton…" Profusely apologetic, she begged, getting up with difficulty from the bed to pitch forward into his arms. Hamilton was confused, Jake was talking over his head; he could not understand a thing of what she was saying.

Jake was as beautiful as ever with that new T-shirt, she was attired in and that sat well on her, bringing out her mesmerizing hazel colored eyes. He was covertly admiring the pretty face of hers, long eyelashes dark against her pale cheeks; her nose was shiny under the ray of moonlight coming through the window.

'He is so beautiful, why does he always do this to me? God I just wanna…NO, I can't. I threatened him and I can't do this to him…Jake, why now of all times…? Why in God's name are you doing this to me…I can't stand more than that…It's killing me inside…I'm getting soft here; I'm tired that's why can't think straight. Yeah I'm sure that's it… Oh, God I'm totally losing it. I have to get outta here before I do something stupid…'

Hamilton pulled back and broke away from Jake's grasp to turn to the door when she seized hold of his arm,

"No, not just yet, HAM…"She stated, stressing the three letters of his name, not wanting to let go of him. He looked back at her gloomily.

"You sooooo…don't know Hamilton…" He looked at her questioningly 'What is he talking about?'

"Wha…what? You're completely out of it. You don't even know what you're saying." Jake walked over to her stereo and turned the CD player on, when the song started to fill the silence.

_Together--__midnight__ in summer  
The air's so much warmer_

"Jake, I can't believe you listen to this kind of music!" He sniggered.

She drew nearer to him again, struggling to pull her jacket off as he helped her to. She smiled at him and went on "If only you knew…you have noo idea …," She laughed, swaying her body in time to the music.

Hamilton did not know what to reply and waited for Jake to carry on, feasting his eyes on her careless grace. He reached out and made a lunge for her, just in time, to catch her as she staggered over to him, and he found himself pulled along; his arms wrapped around her.

_Falling in love under starlight  
Holding on so tight--together_

Looking deep into her eyes, he saw a strange glint in them.

'Gosh, he is radiantly beautiful… how could a GUY be that fragile, that small, that smooth and so cute…!' carried away by the music, at that very moment, he unconsciously tightened his arms around her waist pushing her closer to him. Sensing her breath and scenting her sweetness, he did not want to let go of her, noticing to himself how extremely skinny she actually was, It felt good, warm and so right.

_I won't leave you lonely tonight  
I want you to hold me all night_

_It's gonna be alright_

_I won't leave you lonely tonight_

Being soft on Jake and feeling drawn to her, he couldn't resist, in a moment of weakness he reached to brush the bangs away from her eyes and contrary to all expectations, he crushed his lips on Jake's and kissed her. Just one soft kiss; tasting the same feel he got that first time their lips touched.

Pulling back gently with her eyes heavy with sleep, Jake just rested her head on his shoulder, whereas Hamilton remained entranced by the innermost feelings rushing through his veins, his mind was in turmoil. He could not move, could not even speak.

_Imagine--the air filled with jasmine  
The breeze blows with passion  
You and me dance with desire  
The moon is on fire--imagine_

Hamilton, deeply shocked by what he had just done, was more worried about what was going to happen and how he was going to deal with it later when Jake was going to come back to consciousness.

Jake was going limp with tiredness on Hamilton's chest; he could tell she was asleep. He half-carried her to her bed, laid her down gently there and wrapped her up in a blanket then left, tottering out of her room.

_Which will you go for_

_Which will you love_

_Which will you choose from_

_From the stars above_

Rather than go home he made his way to the lake. He sat on the end of the dock gazing out into the still surface of the lake on which a shaft of moonlight was dancing. All by himself, he was thinking 'I know I'm not gay, but kissing Jake has made me feel for him', 'Once I'm near him; all those indescribable feelings come rushing back; oh God I can't even verbalise it, and that definitely proves the reverse!', 'But our friendship is more important to me.' Raising his eyes heavenwards, he wished upon a star he could have an answer to his question or rather find the question he was attempting to answer.

_Which will you answer_

_Which will you call_

_Which will you take for_

_For your one and all_

_And tell me now_

_Which will you love the best._


	2. CHapter Two

The next morning Jake woke up and the question that came uppermost in her mind was 'what had happened the night before?' She was so afraid since she got drunk. She wondered if she had spilled out her little secret. She was also wondering how Hamilton would have reacted if he had known about it. "I wish to goodness he wouldn't find out!" She hoped.

She got dressed quickly to get ready for Finn's class. She found Hamilton already there with some others students scattered all around on the grass when she arrived. She looked at him, went over to where he was sitting, and sat right next to him.

"Hi!" She hissed.

"Hey" He replied.

"Umm…look Hamilton; I don't really remember what happened last night and--"when he interrupted,

"N, nothing's happened Jake, you just…got drunk and I took you back to your room." He cut her off abruptly.

Jake stared at him suspiciously; she was less than totally convinced and was about to say something as Finn arrived,

"Gentlemen, since we all are here, let's get started. I hope that every one did his homework this weekend. " Finn commented.

Hamilton did not even notice the presence of the teacher, he had apparently forgotten himself; he did not even bother to listen to him always waffling on about poetry. He was pretty much taken up with all that had happened the night before. Sitting on the grass, he was thinking and kept repeating the kiss he shared with Jake in his head. Attempting to stifle all those undesirable feelings for Jake, he wished he could get rid of them.

Since the day Jake kissed him on the rooftop, he kept his distant from her. He did not deck her when she did it; he was too much surprised and utterly shocked at that exact moment that he did not know how to react. She ran away from him and left him behind licking his lips in a total confusion. That kiss had just wreaked havoc upon his life; in fact, he had been questioning himself since.

Back in her room, Jake was waiting for the next class she had. She did not want to stay back there, on the courtyard with Hamilton. She was afraid of having done something stupid the night before and that she would regret, but as he told her there was nothing to worry about, at least not about her little secret, she was more or less relieved. Somehow, there was still something she could not have her finger on.

'Fortunately, he didn't find out, how could I be that darn stupid? I shouldn't have gone at all…what was I thinking anyways? Rather foolish of me!' She reflected, beating her forehead in despair.

Jake heard a knock on her door, "who is it?" She asked.

"Um…it's me, Hamilton," He answered.

"Hold on a minute!" She yelled.

Jake panicked and scrambled to her feet to check her self in the mirror before opening the door on him.

"What took you so long?" He questioned.

Jake did not respond as she stepped back to let him in "So, you needed something?" She said with a simper.

Jake wondered what was on his mind since after that kiss that had changed almost everything between the two of them, he would not come to her room as he used to.

Hamilton was scared; not of Jake but of himself; scared of throwing caution to the wind and let himself drawn to her like he was already doing and then just make a go for it.

Jake was afraid in her own way of letting him in on her little secret, and of telling him about all her real feelings toward him because he would be pissed off at her, and probably would not talk to her again. What she was dreading the most was the loss of a real friend she ever had. They were both wondering how their relationship did reach such a pitch.

"I came over to uh…actually see if you could teach me some hacking tricks…" He said, sensing a wave of discomfort.

Jake could not refrain from smiling, "only if I'm asked", She quipped.

Hamilton stared studiously at her with a perplexed expression; she proceeded to add "That's not exactly what I meant…no, but seriously, are you asking for help?" She amended, eyeing Hamilton warily. She hated making him feel uncomfortable.

Hamilton's mouth twisted into a slow smile "O-k…yeah, well you got that right. I sorta got the idea since you're such a wizard with computers, that is, only if you can, of course." He asked, pleadingly.

"I guess I can do that for a friend, can't I," She answered sympathetically. Hamilton ventured a glance at her and his gaze reverted on Jake's lips as the feeling he got the night before with Jake in his arms crept back in his mind.

Feeling his steely blue eyes boring into her, Jake started to play about with some papers, attempting to shake off the awkwardness she was sensing.

"Thanks pal," He said, nervously.

"Any time" She nodded, smiling genuinely.

"See you later!" Hamilton chimed in, turning around to go out of the room.

"Yeah, see ya" Jake whispered.

Hamilton left the dorms making his way to his house; he was still living with his parents, his home was only five hundred yards away; the opposite way of Jake's room. He struck out across the courtyard and got home as his mother greeted him, "Hi munchie, how was your day?" She asked him with a look of concern.

"Mom, how many times do I have to tell you; don't call me that!" He blurted as she sensed a tone of disappointment in his voice.

"Oh, ok. I won't. You want to eat, now?" She said, playfully.

Feeling bitter of the conversation he just had with Jake, "No" he sighed, "Actually I'm not hungry…" He shrugged, managing to raise a smile as he turned and ran up the covered stairs two at a time to his room. Kate was staring quizzically behind him in surprise; usually he would never say no when it came to food.

"Something is wrong with him!" She mused.

Taking a risk and officially deciding not to let what had happened between Jake and him that night bother him or affect his friendship with Jake that he valued, Hamilton summoned enough courage to go and ask her to tutor him. He preferred to regard the whole strange thing as just a rare occurrence. But still, the attraction to Jake and the liking had grown with every day that had passed; he took notice of it. It was impossible for him to back off or even deny himself getting closer to her. All the time he remembered Jake smiling, he found himself always smiling back without necessarily having her in the same room with him. Jake was quite different; one look from her was enough to make him week at the knee; he had realized it especially the night before.

On the strength of one of all the reasons he had, he could not resist but kissed her a second time and proved to himself that he was definitely falling for her. He thought if Jake were a girl, there would be no doubt about them being soulmates; he would cry out on the top of the rooftop so that everyone would know that he finally found his kindred spirit. However, it was not the case for him unfortunately; he knew he could not have that chance, not with Jake anyway.

His real preoccupation became Jake, since he practically admitted to himself that he liked her, or at least deep down he knew it. He somehow wanted to know if Jake requited his feeling for her. Jake seemed to never show any emotion; in fact she was so hard to read, she remained distant and was doubly careful from the day he threatened to punch her because of that sketchy moment she once had that time and impetuously kissed him and made him question himself ever since. That was what had started it all.

Once inside his room, Hamilton flopped down on his bed and buried his face in the pillow. As soon as he closed his eyes he saw Jake's smile and squeezed them tight shut burying his face more in his pillow, he snarled frustrated "Oh God, can't I stop thinking bout him just for a second!".

_Something in your eyes that makes me smile  
oh yeah  
and something in your eyes that makes me smile  
oh yeah_

"I know I'm not gay, I like girls a lot, I know I like lot of girls, I even have lot of pictures, photos and posters to prove it," He taught to himself, setting up. "Yet I'm always thinking about what happened…about HIM", 'Because you liked it when Jake kissed you and loved the feeling of his lips against yours once again, don't fight it' "OH MY GOD Shut up!" He shouted "Just Stop it now…!" He snapped out. "Great, that's driving me crazy, now I'm talking to myself" His head sank back on the pillow 'Alright, alright, I'm quite decided; I'm not gonna let what happened ruin the nice friendship we had before that quite unexpected incident.'

Jake came back from her last class of that day and was actually too tired as she slipped into her bed and went to sleep straight away, cuddling her pillow and hoping that things would work out between Hamilton and her in the fullness of time and would eventually get back to normality.


	3. Chapter Three

After class, Jake was heading back for her room when Hamilton caught up with her,

"Jake, wait up!"

"Heya, what's up" She glanced sideways at him.

"So, about that tutoring… is it ok if I drop by later?" He requested.

"S-Sure, whenever you want!" She replied.

"Cool, um…I need to go now" He said, looking at her thankfully.

"Catch you later." She chipped in, softly.

Jake and Hamilton walked in opposite direction; both were mentally cursing under their breath with each step they were taking, and wanting to find someway to get out of that predicament.

Hamilton (_thinking to himself_):

'What's keeping me from breaking up our friendship? Granted, we took to one another at once and started it, but I haven't bargained for this to happen; nothing could be further from my mind.'

Jake (_thinking to herself_):

'What the heck? What were you expecting? How could you have such a mad idea? He doesn't like you; he wouldn't have asked, if it hadn't been only for guy's stuff, he thinks you're a guy for God's sakes. So stop daydreaming! Truly it was the last thing on my mind when first I got here, so much for that idea!'

Hamilton taped at the door and heard Jake calling from inside,

"It's open!" She called.

He walked into the room and closed it behind him; he pulled a chair up to the desk and sat right next to Jake who was already hacking some game site.

"Hey, ready to get your butt kicked?" She teased.

"Don't bet on it." He retorted, edging his chair nearer to Jake's one.

They remained outwardly calm, but both of them were feeling the incredible awkwardness and dizziness of the closeness to one another; which started to dwindle as they began playing the game about what seemed two hours. Hamilton forgot about what he was afraid of when he entered the room and Jake as much was greatly pleased to see that the wish she made was coming true; things were actually going along nicely and getting back to normality. Like nothing weird had happened.

Jake flipped her laptop shut, "Sorry, dude, no hard feelings, I won as usual." She turned to look at him; her lips had a shadow of a smile on them.

A little uncomfortable, Hamilton reluctantly jumped up from the chair and walked around with his eyes darting back and forth, trying to focus on something and arguing to no purpose. He cursed his lips and announced, "Ok, ok no arguing here; I admit defeat. You're da man" attempting to put on a show of indifference.

Jake rolled her eyes and heaved her self out of her desk chair, strolling back to her bed with her laptop in her hands. She opened it as she flopped down on her bed.

"Before anything else, I would like to thank you" She said primly, feeling a pang of regret for that kiss on the rooftop for about the thousand times.

"For what?" He asked, keeping a wary eye on her.

Jake did not want to make eye contact with him as she responded smoothly "For the party night…you know what happened, I don't know why the hell I've drunk that much…It's just that, it never happened to me before".

That was the last straw for Hamilton to start getting all tensed up again and panicky with the feelings he was trying to push aside ever since the second he stepped in the room.

"Oh, yeah, well…Any time", he said as calmly as possible, then hastily went on "I, uh look, I gotta be going, see ya when I see ya" he swiftly rushed out of her room, not letting her even reply.

Jake looked up at the door slumming shut "when I see ya," she whispered.

Hamilton stared at the clock set on his bedside table only to find it: 4:45. He had lain awake, tossing and turning in his bed all night. He could not get to sleep, he was deep in contemplation, 'Why do I have to find myself in such never-ending screwed up situation…and it's only with him!'

Hamilton just could not stop thinking about Jake; the strange thing was that he was not attracted to any other guys, only Jake, which complicated the things further. He was not, could not be gay, could he! That whole thing was driving him nuts.

'Why is Jake doing this to me? There is something in the way he looks and smiles at me. The way he acts around me. The way he walks and the most the way he makes me feel for him. What is all that about?' he had to do something about that, "Screw this!" He screamed in an overwhelming sense of frustration, banging his fist on his pillow, then propped his head in his hands, 'No' he thought 'I'll prove it I'm not gay 'the cotillion was coming up, he was determined to find a girl to himself, whom he could go with.

How dare Jake confuse him like that? He was gonna show Jake and others he was not gay; that he was a straight and normal American teenage guy.

'It only remains for me to find a girl to go with to the cotillion…' Then an idea flitted into his mind 'I'll just have to ask Lena, I reckon she's not gonna refuse' he mused. He got up and strode up and down his room before he stood at the window to look out at the sun rising.

Jake spotted Hamilton with a fiery red-haired girl from afar. She crossed the length of the quad, walking over to them. The nearer she was getting to them, the clearer she could hear what they were discussing; this made her heart go faster. Hamilton noticed her coming over to them. Just then, he abruptly started fidgeting, unsure about Jake's reaction.

"Hey Jake!" he greeted, smiling reflexively.

"Hey" she replied, a small smile touching her lips.

Trying in vain to contain the obvious disappointment in her tone, she tore her eyes away of him to look at Lena "Hey."

"How is it going?" Lena said, grinning.

"Great, just great" She replied as she averted her gaze back to Hamilton.

"Perfect. So I'll call you later," Lena told Hamilton, wandering off delightfully.

"Oh, k" Hamilton responded, studiously avoiding Jake's eyes.

"Found a date to the cotillion, huh?" she asked with a hurt voice, glancing down.

"Yeah well she was going alone" he attempted to explain, breaking her hopes in pieces. "So, you decide to ask anyone?"

Jake looked up at him "No, think I'm gonna skip it." She told him, her smile tinged with sadness.

"Oh" He glanced at her covertly, hoping to sound as offhand as he was trying to.

"Besides the only person I had my eye on is going with someone else…,"she said, lightly.

Hamilton stared at her uncomfortably. He was wondering if Jake was talking about him or about someone else. He did not want to think that Jake was talking about him, but at the same time there was that part in him that made him half a mind to wish briefly so, he was extremely acquisitive and curious to know.

He could feel his cheek starting to redden "Well," he said with a faint smile, holding up his history book as Jake lifted her eyes to meet his.

"I'm …history." With a guilty look, he wandered off, yet not sure of what exactly the thing was that he was feeling guilty about.

Biting her lower lip, Jake watched his retreating back grow smaller across the quad. She walked slowly all the way back to the dorms at one; she entered her room, closed the door carefully and fell on her bed crying softly. She hated crying. But she cracked up. It was not fair; she was falling in love with a guy who just didn't seem to have the slightest idea of all that she was feeling for him. She wanted to go with him, albeit not like his date, although she was hoping so, but at least they would go together.

"He thinks you're a guy, for God's sake! I should have known he was going to find a date." She berated herself, shedding bitter tears over the great pain she was feeling.

At any rate, Jake was clearly not going to give up; she was seriously thinking about telling Hamilton the truth about her. She could not stand lying to him so much, and could not help but dreaded his reaction; her secret was about to come out even though she were not ready.

'No ifs and buts, I'm going, I can't do this anymore,' she taught to herself 'I'll tell him, either he likes me or not, I'll know for sure.' She resolved. "I'll just have to see, won't I?"


	4. Chapter Four

Hamilton and Lena were standing by the punchbowl, sipping at the glasses of punch they were grabbing when both noticed Jake walking inside; Hamilton's heart throbbed with deep aching feelings as he saw her.

Jake and Hamilton met eyes and only one thought flashed through the two minds in unison "Why is he looking at me this way!"

Hamilton had a strange look in his eyes; a strange gleam, which veered between anger and burning desire; all mixed up in that glance he was casting in her direction. That was driving her crazy; she could not take her eyes off him, the hopelessness of the situation was so much obvious, both could no longer bear the overwhelming emotions.

Taking in the situation at a glance, Lena started, "Hey Hamilton, I know you feel guilty about not having come here with him instead, don't say I'm not, I can tell! I just wanted to say that you can go be with him. You're in love with each other, it's like it's so obvious." frankly.

Hamilton more than a little shocked turned to her, wrinkling his eyebrows in disbelief, "Wait, we're not, and stop saying that, God." He said, annoyed.

"Look Hamilton, sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind, take the leap while you're still young, it's time to follow your heart. I, I know that is so cliché. Go be with Jake, there're some guys who've been giving me the hairy eyeball all night." She smiled before she left, shaking her head.

_One look I was shook  
And that's all it took  
And now I'm open_

A feeling of fear came over Hamilton as he could feel a lump in his throat, approaching Jake, who was giving a little smile, which had faded away as he marched up to her and had been replaced by a look of intense eagerness.

_As I walk across the room  
I saw you scoping  
Now I'm hoping  
To get you on the dance floor_

"Hey" Hamilton said.

"Hey, I need to talk to you" She told him with a hoarse voice.

He nodded, "Me too".

_Though you're unsure  
Why fight the tide  
Don't think so much  
Let your heart decide_

"Yeah, but not here" They could hear the song fading faintly in the background. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Her Hazel colored eyes were melting into his ocean blue ones.

_I look in your eyes  
And see you searching for a sign  
But you'll never fall  
'Til you let go  
Don't be so scared  
Of what you don't know_

"I'm sorry…. I can't do this."He blurted out, turning to walk away with guilt and sorrow gnawing at his hearth.

Jake watched him leave. With a twinge of sadness, she turned around and walked off, her head bowed with tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes. She was cursing herself for having come 'what was I thinking, how could I be that stupid idiot! As if it were gonna make any difference to him to see me once again.'

_True to your heart  
You must be true to your heart  
That's when the heavens will part  
And baby shower you with my love_

Just then, Hamilton changed his mind. Repeating Lena's advice of 'throwing caution to the wind' in his mind, he retraced his steps to turn back and to see her striding away across the dance floor with her head down and shoulders scrunched up. Feeling sad at heart, he went after her.

_Open your eyes  
Your heart can tell you no lies  
And when you're true to your heart  
I know it's gonna lead you straight to me_


	5. Part Five

Jake wrenched her door open and came in, not bothering to lock it behind her as the tears; she was trying to hold back, started uncontrollably to race down her face. But she suddenly heard an abrupt nock at her door and her heart stood still. Could it be Hamilton? She opened the door, and as she guessed, it was him.

Hamilton, without so much as asking permission, brushed past and walked into her room "Jake… I have something to say," He pleaded.

Jake was in no mood for another I don't want you to kiss me again to hear now.

"I mean…I have to explain," he continued.

"Explain? You don't have to explain any thing to me? Why would you? What the hell does it matter to you?" She said, her heart aching with pain.

A strange look came over Hamilton's face, he couldn't take any more of that, it was driving him crazy. He had to let all his feelings out NOW.

"It DOES! I, I came here to explain something to you. I can't take this anymore…I guess what I'm trying to say is that contrary to all what I told you before, it didn't gross me out when WE kissed either that day on the rooftop or that night here in your own room" he poured his heart out to her and all his feelings were out.

"wha…when did you say?" She questioned in a voice choked with emotion, her eyes brimming with tears.

Jake was shacking and looked like she wanted to cry as Hamilton inched his way to her, closing the small gap that was between them,

"Jake… I need you." He looked deep into her eyes and kissed her gently yet passionately and just as he was about to break the kiss and run and hide away from her, she returned it, both were letting all those hidden feelings, emotions, want and desire in that long kiss.

Jake, realizing what she was doing, reluctant pulled away. In fact, she had to tell him about her secret being a girl, Hamilton had just

Poured out all his feelings and she still did not let him in on it. Amazed, he smiled at her and started to lean forward again, when she turned her face aside.

"What's wrong?" he frowned confused, his face silently questioning.

"Hamilton, I've gotta tell you something… you must know about me" Jake said.

"Yeah, what is it?" he queried, looking puzzled.

"We're not gay," She replied, her voice betraying her. Her eyes grew dim with tears.

"We're NOT gay? After all what has just happened, you're still telling me you're NOT gay. What the hell is it going on here, Jake?" Hamilton shouted, out of his mind.

"I know… I know, but this is not …"

"WHAT IS IT THEN, JAKE? WHAT IS IT!" He repeated, fretfully.

"We're not gay, Hamilton, because I'm a girl" He looked suddenly confused; he looked at Jake as though she were plain crazy.

Jake started to undo her shirt as she talked "I'm a hundred percent female, I guess I could easily be taken for a boy" she took off the white corset she had worn around her chest and that had hidden her identity so well.

Hamilton stood there with his eyes wide open, dumbfounded at her too obvious femininity; he could hardly credit it. He looked at her chest then back into her eyes while Jake was searching his face for some sign of emotion. The confusion had cleared from his face and had been replaced by an utter shock and a great sorrow.

"Why?" He asked sharply, putting on a gruff voice.

Her voice kept breaking with emotion "This whole charade was just…to get my mother's attention and you've got to believe me I… I've never ever meant to hurt you or cause all this mess, but all I know is that… I like you too Hamilton and…" She confessed sincerely as she reached for Hamilton's arm to touch him and he moved it away.

"No, Please don't! You lied to me. You concealed the truth and made me think that I was gay, I don't know what to believe anymore." He responded, a note of contempt in his voice.

He made a motion as if to step back and recoiled in hurt. Panic-stricken, he stalked out angrily and in disgust. He was quite overcome; what he had seen just knocked him back, so on a sudden onrush of anger, he stomped out of the room and ran away. Jake was let behind alone to deal with his harsh reaction.

'God what have I done! What kind of mess did I get myself in? I've ruined everything and he'll never forgive me. I can't blame him coz I'm the one who caused this entire gap. What was I thinking coming here?' 'God. There's no good being here anymore? Why did he have to be so beautiful?' Her face bathed in tears, she flopped down on her bed and cried herself to sleep.

_Why did you have to be_

_So beautiful, __so good to me_

_When I was only looking for_

_Someone to hold just for a while?_

_Why did I have to see your smile_

Hamilton had a feeling of mingled disgust and anger. He was upset at Jake for what she had put him through, for confusing him and for turning his life into a confusing and a hectic world; those long sleepless nights. She had been lying to him from the beginning, how could she be that bold enough to pretend being best friends with him.

_Why did you have to be_

_The one who stayed in all my dreams_

_Why did you have to say _

The words that took my breath away?

_I didn't want to fall in love_

_Why did you have to be so right?_


	6. Chapter Six

_Games, changes and fears_

_When will they go from here_

_When will they stop_

_I believe that fate has brought us here_

_And we should be together, babe,_

_But we're not_

_I play it off but I'm dreaming of you_

Hamilton was sitting on the edge of the docks staring at the setting sun that gave the lake a pinkish tinge, and trying not to be reminded of Jake. All of a sudden, he heard footsteps along the docks; he turned his head around to glance at Jake coming over to sit next to him then turned it away again.

"Hey" She said, carefully.

He did not reply; he was trying to look more mad and upset than he wanted to. She turned to look at him then added,

"Listen Hamilton, I know you are mad at me but you have to know that I was longing to tell you from the day we met. You were my best friend" She wanted to reassure him of her sincerity. However, Hamilton was looking out at the lake straight ahead, not wanting to turn and stare at her.

Jake was determined; after ruminating over and over her situation she adamantly decided to leave. She actually came down here just to give him the letter she had written to him. She slipped it next to him and got up to walk down the docks.

Hamilton cast down as something arrested his gaze; he saw an envelope that was addressed to him. He picked it up and held it in both hands, studying it. His curiosity got the better of him; he hurriedly tore the envelope open; unfolded the letter to start reading it.

_Dear Hamilton,_

_I think I owe you an explanation. To tell you the truth, I meant to tell you about that secret of mine, I guess I was just waiting for the right moment, to my lasting regret it did never come._

_You see, I was in such a quandary over whether to tell you, I was so afraid of your reaction. I cannot find the words to tell you how sorry I am for all the confusion and the pain I have caused! I know this does not alter the fact that you should have known. But I want you to know that you were the only one who set my heart aflame; meeting you was the very best thing that could have happened to me._

_The sad thing I knew that it was bound to happen sooner or later, that is why I am leaving; I had resolved that I would have to transfer to another school, though I don't know where for sure yet. So you do not have to worry about you and me anymore._

_Take care,_

_Jacqueline._

Hamilton reread again, what seemed a letter of apology and of a farewell, a thousand ideas raced through his mind; that implied that Jake …Jacqueline was leaving forever. He froze, tears were sliding down his face; her words pierced his heart and greatly affected him, same feeling expressed in several different ways recurred. Wasting no time, he got up, ran down the docks and back to school, all the way through the hallway and to Jake's room. Without even bothering to knock, he turned the doorknob and breezed in.

"Jake…" His voice trailed off, she was not there.

He stepped forward to find the place deserted, there was nobody. He took a quick look through the drawers and found them emptied out. Lots of her things and her laptop were missing. Her scent was gone. His heart felt as if it would burst with grief.

"Oh, God, what have I done?" He had come to the point that he did not have to be angry with her eventually. He might have already lost her, FOREVER. He had to think quickly. Undeterred, pining to be given another chance, he soon sprinted outside and headed for where Jake used to hide her bike.

_I keep my cool but I'm feignin_

_I try to say goodbye and I choke_

_I try to walk away and stumble_

_Though try to hide it, it's clear_

_My world crumbles when you're not near_

Jake was under the delusion that Hamilton would have read her letter and would come to stop her. Take her in his arms and tell her that he had forgiven her, that none of it did matter anymore. However, she could not stall her self for departure; she could not stand by helplessly until his arrival, she had waited quite long enough for him and he unluckily, did not come.

_Goodbye and I choke_

_I try to walk away and I stumble_

_Though I try to hide it, it's clear_

_My world crumbles when you're not near_

She snapped out of her daydreams 'I guess that's just the way it has to be.' As she prepared to get on her bike and put her helmet on, she halted. A voice stopped her,

"Wait Jake…Please!" by the most amazing twist of fate, she was still there.

Her heart leapt. She froze instantaneously, not wanting to turn for fear it would not really be real, that it was just an allusion, that she was hearing that voice just because she wanted to.

"Don't go!" He pleaded

"Why?" in a hollow voice, turning around and releasing the breath she had been holding. On the verge of tears, she looked at him with glassy eyes,

"Because I need you, I can't live without my best friend anymore" He stepped closer to her and took her hands in his, stroking their back.

Jake found that moment so surreal, suddenly she lost control and threw herself in his arms, "Hamilton, you have no idea how sorry I am…for not having told you right from the very beginning…" Her voice was trembling, betraying her, and tears rolled down her cheek.

He wiped them away with a finger, and held her face in his hands,

"Forgive me?" She asked.

He could not hold back a smile then, said softly, "But of course you're forgiven! Besides, there's nothing to forgive." Then he kissed her with all his pent up emotions and burning passion.

Pulling away, he stared into those finest emerald green eyes of hers, and smiled slightly, his kiss left her breathless. He hugged her, reveling in the feeling of her back in his arms again. Then hid her bike back in that hiding spot he once showed her when she first came here. Picking up her bag, he took her hand in his and walked her back to her dorm room.


	7. Chapter Seven

_This years love had better last_

_Heaven knows it's high time_

_And__ I've been waiting on my own too long_

Both remained silent all the way along the quad, nothing was left unsaid. Everything was right between them and they knew how they felt about each other.

Entering her room, Hamilton put her bag on the bed and closed the door behind them, locking it. Turning back to Jake, he held her, not wanting to ever let go. No more mystery, everything was finally clear to him, all those strong feelings filled with emotions for her were there just because, in his heart of hearts, he knew she was a girl all along.

_But__ when you hold me like you do_

_It feels so right_

_I start to forget_

_How my heart gets torn_

_When that hurt gets thrown_

_Feeling like you can't go on_

"I must be dreaming?" She enquired, quietly.

"Well, if you are, then I must be dreaming too," He said. A glimmer of joy shone in his eye and he leaned down to kiss her again.

_Turning circles when time again_

_It cuts like a knife oh yeah_

_If you love me go to know for sure_

_Cos__ it takes something more this time_

_Than sweet sweet lies_

_Before I open up my arms and fall_

_Losing all control_

_Every dream inside my soul_

_And__ when you kiss me_

_On that __midnight__ street_

_Sweep me off my feet_

_Singing ain't this life so sweet_

He had helped her to unpack her bags and put each thing where it belonged before they reclined comfortably on her bed with him holding her tight, wrapping his arms around her.

_This years love had better last_

_This years love had better last_

_So whose to worry_

_If our heart get torn_

_When that hurt gets thrown_

_Don't you know this life goes on_

"Hamilton" Jake asked.

"Yeah" He turned to her, smiling.

"I love you", she spoke in an awed whisper, looking up to meet his eyes directly.

A wide grin spread on his face as he kissed her forehead gently,

"I love you too."

_And won't you kiss me_

_On that midnight street_

_Sweep me off my feet_

_Singing ain't this life so sweet_

_This years love had better last_

_This years love had better last_

_This years love had better last_

_This years love had better last_

****

**_The End_**


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